


if you're not the one for me (why do I hate the idea of being free?)

by coffeebooks



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Light Angst, Side SuperCorp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 07:22:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15165527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeebooks/pseuds/coffeebooks
Summary: Five times Psi catches Imra crying. One time, she doesn't





	if you're not the one for me (why do I hate the idea of being free?)

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been sitting in my drafts for months and I finally found myself satisfied enough with it to publish it.  
> Please consider I wrote this before the season finale, so lots of details are different than the actual canon.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

i.

Relief floods her the moment the ship lands back in the DEO.

She still can’t believe she is feeling relieved to be back. She knows that as soon as her feet land on the agency, she is going back to a holding cell, but she can’t help it. After everything that happened in Fort Rozz with Reign, no one can blame her for wanting a little bit of peace of mind. Her mind keeps replaying everything that happened there. Deep down, she really feels sorry that they didn’t make it out without casualties, even if she didn’t know Livewire very much.

She tells Supergirl so and acknowledges that it may be hard for the superheroine. After all, Livewire may have been just a stranger for Psi, but Supergirl lost a friend back there. The blonde heroine just smiles, before she suggests giving her a better holding cell. Unexpectedly, it makes her smile as well and it is genuine this time.

_Maybe Supergirl did get through her._

Not that she would ever admit it.

She is ready to go back to the confinements of her holding cell, resigned to her fate already.

However, on her way to her new holding cell, she sees the brunette she met before.

When the girl notices her, she looks a little bit taken aback and slightly afraid. She is still shaken up and Psi can’t say she blames her after how she lost control of her powers back there.

“You don’t have to be afraid, _Matilda,_ ” Psi finally tells her, pointing at the psionic inhibitor hanging on her head like a tiara. “Everything is under control.”

Imra looks surprised at first, but then just gives her a faint smile. She still looks at her warily and Psi notices.

What she also notices are the remains of tears in the brunette's green eyes. The brunette seems to notice her staring, so she immediately proceeds to wipe any traces of tears from her face trying, but failing, to pretend she wasn’t crying in the first place.

Maybe it is the effect of Livewire’s death on her consciousness or maybe it is Supergirl’s unwavering belief in the goodness in people, but she feels the need to say something to make things right.

“I’m sorry about your friend, by the way,” it’s what she manages to tell her.

It’s what she assumes is the reason why the brunette is crying anyway.

“I didn’t really know Livewire,” she admits softly, and it confuses Psi slightly, “But she didn’t deserve to die.”

The blonde looks at her for an instant, before she speaks again.

“Life is short and maybe it is comforting that she died for a purpose, but I agree.” The room is filled with silence once again. The brunette doesn’t look at her, but doesn’t ask her to leave either, so she just stays there for a while. “So, why were you crying _Matilda_?” she dares to ask and the other girl looks at her slightly surprised.

Psi isn’t anything but honest, brutally honest sometimes that it doesn't cross her mind that she may have overstepped.

“It just keeps replaying in my mind...”

She doesn’t explain further, but she doesn’t need to because she understands. She saw what her greatest fear was, and she understands the stakes.

"Even if I didn't do it on purpose, I guess I owe you an apology,” she finally says with a sigh and the brunette looks at her with slight surprise, never expecting her to apologize “For losing control of my powers back there.”

That manages to make the brunette smile faintly. Psi isn’t much of a heart-to-heart person, but she finds that it is not difficult to admit she made a mistake with her.

“It’s ok, I understand it was an accident,” she says, before she smiles at the blonde once again. “It’s Imra by the way, not Matilda.”

The blonde simply scoffs at that.

“And here I thought that was your real name,” she says sarcastically, rolling her eyes, and it manages to make Imra chuckle.

“I’m guessing your name isn’t really Psi,”

At that, the blonde snorts and rolls her eyes one more time.

“Gayle,” she simply says, finally introducing herself.

Maybe she was tired of people calling her Psi or maybe she simply wanted someone to know for who she really was, but she felt the need to tell her her name. “Before I was Psi, I was simply Gayle Marsh.”

“I like it better than Psi,” she says with a sincere smile.

 

ii.

A couple of weeks after the Fort Rozz mission, Gayle finally feels as if she is settled back into her old life. Her new holding cell now has a window just like Supergirl promised. The view is not the best, but it is at least, an improvement from her last holding cell. There is sunlight now at least.

She likes to sit next to it in the mornings and bask in the sunlight as she reads the few poetry books she has with her. She may have lost her freedom when she was captured by the DEO, but she has never felt as peaceful before.

Due to her ‘ _good behavior’_ , as director J’onnz told her, she is allowed to go out of her cell once a week. Of course, with the company of a guard and still wearing her psionic blocker, but it is still more than she hoped for. She thinks maybe Supergirl has a soft spot for her.

She is not allowed out of the DEO though, so the only view she gets is the one of armed guards and computers. She loathes it, but sometimes it feels better than nothing, even though it’s a cold setting. She can’t help but think it is suited for a person like her.

Wandering around the corridors of the DEO, she hears muffled sobs. She looks around and sees nothing at first. When she is about to dismiss it as her imagination, she finally locates the person sobbing. She sees her once again, and she is sitting in a corner, crying alone this time.

For a while, she evaluates what to do. Two sides of her are fighting on her brain. The first one tells her that she has no business meddling in this girl’s life, the other one, which seems to be conjuring Supergirl as a moral compass, tells her she should at least ask.

She is inclined to choose the first option and walk away, but the second one is too strong. Letting out a sigh, she decides to do the ‘ _right_ ’ thing and internally curses Supergirl for it.

As she approaches her, she almost regrets her decision since she doesn’t exactly know what to say, but it’s too late to go back.

“So, what’s bothering that mind of yours, Matilda?” she suddenly asks.

Despite the fact that she now knows her real name, she still chooses to use Livewire’s nickname on her. It seems more impersonal that way.

Imra looks up startled when she hears her voice, red cheeks and glassy eyes.

She briefly takes a look at the guard behind the blonde girl and seems to hesitate for a while. Gayle thinks maybe she should leave, at least she asked, so there is no reason to feel bad about it.

However, before she can do anything, Imra tells the guard escorting her to leave them alone for a while. The agent looks reluctant, but is not in position to refuse someone of Imra’s rank, so he simply nods and walks away. That leaves the two girls alone in silence, for a while.

It almost surprises Gayle at first, but then it dawns her that maybe Imra does need to talk with someone from time to time. They aren’t exactly friends, but she guesses that there are some things she can’t talk with her husband and considering her complicated situation, obviously, she can't talk them with Supergirl either.

“I don’t bite, you can tell me,” Gayle tells her, as she takes a seat next to her in the floor.

Imra doesn’t flinch nor scoots further, she just stays there, so she guesses it doesn’t make her uncomfortable. Sometimes, closeness brings some people comfort and maybe it is what Imra needs in that moment.

“I asked Mon-El if he still loves her,” she replies suddenly, sighing sadly, and that takes the blonde by surprise.

 She is kind of aware of the situation, she overheard Livewire and Supergirl briefly talking about the fact that Imra’s husband was Supergirl’s ex-boyfriend. However, knowing about it didn’t make it less surprising to hear it from her and it seemed to be more complicated than she thought.

“And he does?” she asks.

She had noticed some tension between the two girls before their trip to Fort Rozz, and now everything seemed more clear.

“He says he doesn’t know,” Imra says, before letting out a self-deprecating snort.

Tears roll down her eyes once again and Gayle doesn’t know what to do or how to help. She has never been good at comforting people.

She is familiar with people crying. Her powers have caused more than one person to cry out of fear, but that doesn’t mean she is prepared for this.

“Deep down, I always knew he still had feelings for her even if they weren’t reciprocated,” Imra continues as she tries to stop the tears from falling but failing in doing so.

Eventually, she just stops trying and lets the tears roll down her eyes.

“Ignorance is a bliss,” Gayle casually says. It is clear that the real problem was that she didn't want to see what was in front of her. The fact that her husband never stopped having feelings for his ex. “I guess sometimes it is easier to pretend that the problem isn’t there, hoping that that way, it’ll go away.” Imra sighs, before nodding.

“Yeah,” she admits and lets out another sigh, “I mean, I just hoped our love was strong enough to overcome this.”

“Love is hard, but it’s a two-way street, Matilda,” she says, “For it to work, he has to be willing to make it work as much as you do.”

Imra looks down at her feet, but doesn’t say anything else. Probably because she knows she is right.

“So, what are you going to do now?” Gayle asks, breaking the silence.

She knows her words may be difficult to hear, but she is not a person that would sugarcoat things for them to sound less painful.

It is valid question, even if she knows it may sting. Acknowledging a problem is hard, but doing something about it is harder, and it is clear Imra will have to make a decision eventually.

“I don’t know,” Imra drawls, “Mon-El said we will figure it out together, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to hear that I’m just his second choice.”

Imra looks really conflicted with the issue, probably wondering if saving their relationship is worth the effort. Because when it comes to love, being someone's second choice is not enough.

For a while, Gayle wants to say she thinks Mon-El is a man-child that doesn’t deserve her, just like she thinks he doesn’t deserve someone like Supergirl either.

However, she doesn’t know enough of him to make such a judgement of character and she doesn’t know if the brunette would appreciate that kind of comment about the man that is still her husband.

“Thank you for listening,” the brunette suddenly says after a long silence and Gayle simply nods, because despite all the literature she likes reading, she doesn’t feel like she can find the right words to say in that moment, “I guess I really needed to vent.”

And maybe Imra didn’t really need someone to comfort her, maybe having someone who would listen to her was just enough. That, Gayle could do.

 

iii.

It’s been months since that second time she found Imra crying and ever since that day, Gayle has seen her a few more times during her free days.

Those days, Imra mostly talked and she listened, occasionally giving her a snarky comment in return or a rather painful piece of advice. Imra doesn’t seem to mind, though. She just takes everything Gayle has to say lightly, almost as if thankful for finally having someone to open up to.

And Gayle is a good listener, so she doesn’t mind. It is still better than opening up about herself and talking. Besides, she was right in thinking that the brunette needed someone to talk with. She carries more baggage than she pretends.

The blonde doesn’t like talking about herself and Imra doesn’t push, she understands the need of keeping things to herself.

Eventually, though, Gayle relents and tells her about herself after a few weeks. Little bits at a time in the form of sarcastic jokes.

She tells her about her life before she discovered she had psychic powers. She tells her about how people around her started pushing her away afterwards, afraid of her and her powers and how she kept her distance ever since then. She tells her how she never managed to establish any kind of relationship, romantic or not, with anyone because of that.

It’s easy to talk to her, because she doesn’t offer her pity. She hates it when people pity her, which is the reason she barely opens up in the first place. Imra is different, though, she just listens and maybe Gayle needed that too. Someone who would just sit there and listen to her.

She is sitting by the window now, reading one of her new books, when she hears the lock of her cell opening. She looks up, startled for a second, until she recognizes the person in front of her.

To say Gayle is surprised, would be an understatement. While it’s true that they have talked about very personal issues on various occasions and that they are sort of friends now, it is still the first time Imra came looking for her. The other times had been accidentally bumping into each other. Their friendship is still tentative and it’s surprising to see her there.

“Hey,” the brunette greets her, looking sheepishly at her. It almost seems as if she is questioning her own decision of coming to the cell to look for her. “Edgar Allan Poe,” Imra says as soon as she notices the book that the blonde is currently reading. “Isn’t bit a little bit dark? Even for you."

The blonde just chuckles and rolls her eyes as she gives her side glance, “We all have a little bit of darkness within us,” Gayle says, putting her book down and acknowledging her presence. It is then that she notices the state she is in. Her eyes are red and they look tired, and she has prominent dark circles under her eyes. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”

“How are you liking your new cell?” she asks, ignoring Gayle’s previous question. She wipes her eyes with her fingers and then offers her a faint smile, trying to pretend that she is ok.

“Birds aren’t meant to live caged,” she simply replies as she looks out of the window, longingly. She misses her freedom. “But I guess they learn to live with that.”

“Yeah, I suppose,” she says distractedly.

“I’m guessing you are not here to discuss my living situation,” she continues, and she notices how Imra’s expression hardens just a like bit. “Are you okay?”

She expects her to say yes, that she is fine, like she always says when she is asked. Instead, she breaks down into tears and surprisingly, seeks for her embrace. Gayle is frozen in her spot for an instant, as Imra holds onto her tightly.

At first, she doesn’t know how to react. She is not used to physical contact, specially, not hugs. People are usually too afraid of her powers to initiate any kind of physical contact with her and she has grown accustomed to distance. However, she slowly and hesitantly finds herself wrapping her arms around her in comfort.

Imra sobs in her shoulder and it is heartbreaking to see her in that state. The first time she met her, she seemed so confident, so sure of herself. With time, she has learned she is more vulnerable than she appears to be as her walls slowly cracked.

She doesn’t know what happened yet, but she can make a wild guess. Suddenly, she is overcome with the desire to find Mon-El and use her powers against him to make him cry in fear.

“We are getting a divorce,” it’s the only thing she says, between sobs, after a few minutes of crying in silence, “He said he wants to fight for her.”

Even if Gayle knows that a divorce was long overdue, she doesn’t say so. The brunette doesn’t need an ‘ _I told you so’_ in that moment, she just needs comfort.

She doesn’t mention either how she thought that eventually Mon-El would want to go back to Supergirl. It is true she doesn’t know much about him, but she knows guys like him.

“I can bring him to his knees and make him writhe in pain if that’ll make you feel any better,” she says, without a hint of hesitation, and Imra snorts at that.

“What’s with you and wanting to make people feel pain?” she asks, with genuine curiosity. Gayle doesn’t reply, she simply smirks at her.

“You know what’s interesting about the concept of pain? That it is the one of the most complex concepts in the world, yet everyone feels it,” she says, looking at her, “I was just thinking of way to even the field, make him feel the same amount of pain he made you feel.”

Imra doesn’t say anything else, she just cries and Gayle doesn’t say anything either, she just lets her cry as she hugs her. She doesn’t find the words to say, but words aren’t needed in that moment. Actions speak louder and her being there for her is the only thing that matters.

 

iv.

Gayle sees Imra a couple of more times before the divorce. She still looks broken, but what matters is that she is slowly healing and seems to be moving on day by day.

And Gayle finds herself genuinely happy at the progress. She would never admit that she cares, but deep down, she does.  She is all hard edges around people, but with time, she has find out she has softened around her.

They barely talk about Mon-El now when they meet, and that seems like a great improvement. Neither of them needs to hear about him anyway. They talk about themselves mostly.

Imra talks about the Legion’s ship and how the ‘ _nerd team’_ , how Gayle addresses them, is looking for a way to fix it so they can go back to the future.

Gayle doesn’t mention it, but she feels a hole in her heart every time Imra mentions returning to her own time. She has never been one to easily get attached to people, but it seems different with Imra. Unavoidable even.

Imra gifts her with more books, for which she is thankful and sometimes when she is alone in her room reading them, her mind drifts towards the person who gifted them to her.

Gayle tries to go back to her life but is unable to do so because her life now is filled with her.

Somehow, her mind is suddenly clouded with random thoughts. Thoughts of her. And she suddenly finds herself unable to stop thinking about the brunette.

At first, she thinks it’s because she is concerned for her newfound friend. They had gotten close after the whole Mon-El debacle and she figures it is normal to feel that way. However, when she goes to sleep one night and dreams about kissing her, she realizes it is something else entirely.

After that, it is as if she has fallen down a rabbit hole and can’t get out of it.

When she goes to sleep at night, she sees her face as soon she closes her eyes. When she opens her eyes, she imagines her smile and her bright eyes and suddenly finds herself conjuring her image when she reads poems.

She shakes away those thoughts as soon as they appear. She can’t afford to have this kind of feelings, but they are inevitable and they hit her like freight train.

That day, Gayle goes out of her cell, but instead of looking for Imra, she decides to take some time on her own to think about everything. Walking around the DEO is not very pleasant given the lack of view and sometimes she prefers to stay in her cell and stare out her window, but this time, she needs time to think.

When she turns around the corner on her way back, she suddenly sees something she wishes she could unsee. She stops on her tracks and makes a double take to make sure she isn’t imagining things.

There, in front of her, is Supergirl heavily making out with a pretty brunette in high heels. She has seen her a couple of times in the DEO and countless times in the news. She immediately recognizes her as Lena Luthor, CEO of a multibillion company and sister of the infamous Lex Luthor.

She can’t help but think that Supergirl making out with a Luthor would seriously make the headlines.

Despite having super senses, the superhero only realizes there is someone else in the room when she clears her throats as she walks by.

“Psi!” she says nervously when she finally spots her, her voice a couple of octaves higher. Gayle tries to hold back her laughter, but only manages to mask it with smile. “I didn’t see you there.”

“Please don’t stop on my account, I was just walking by,” she replies with a smirk, sounding more teasingly than she wanted, and Supergirl blushes like a teenage girl. The beautiful brunette standing next to her simply chuckles.

This sudden development amuses her but worries her at the same time.

On one hand, she is satisfied with the fact that Supergirl has finally realized she can do better than a wanna be superhero like Mon-El.

On the other hand, she is dreading the idea of finding out what this new development means for Imra’s divorce.

When she goes back to her holding cell finally, she doesn’t expect to find Imra there. She is sitting on Gayle’s favorite spot by the window, going through one of the poetry books she usually reads. It startles her, and she stays frozen in her spot for an instant, just watching her in surprise.

While Imra knows Gayle is fond of books, she doesn’t know about her special fondness towards poetry despite her penchant for quoting things at random times during conversations.

Suddenly, she feels self-conscious and embarrassed as she sprints towards her and snatches the book out her hand, taking her by surprise.

“I still find it hard to believe you are a poetry kind of girl,” she says teasingly, and the blonde simply rolls her eyes.

It shouldn’t, given how much she expresses herself through complicated verses sometimes, but immediately dismisses the thought.

“What are you doing here?” she asks her finally.

She doesn’t mean to sound rude, but right now, she can’t deal with the feelings she realized she has for her and having her there, complicates things.

“I wanted to talk to you” Imra says and pauses for a brief moment, before she sighs.

Inside her mind, Gayle stars formulating ideas of the possible ways this conversation may go. After seeing Supergirl making out with someone that wasn't Imra's soon to be ex-husband, she thinks that the reason Imra is there is to tell her she is not longer getting a divorce.

What Imra actually says, though, takes her by surprise.

 “Winn and Brainy found a way to fix our ship," she finally says, before making a small pause,  "We can go back.”

She can’t tell if Imra is thrilled or disappointed with the idea by the tone of her voice and her expression doesn’t reveal much either.

Gayle, on the other hand, is conflicted. A part of her is happy for her, since she can finally go home. Another part of her dreads the idea of her leaving. Not that she would ever say that out loud.

“That’s great for you, Matilda,” she simply says, feigning nonchalance, as the information dawns her.

She knew she would eventually go back to her time, she just didn’t expect the news to feel like a bucket of cold water had just been poured over her head.

“When will you stop calling me Matilda?” Imra asks shaking her head, slightly amused, and Gayle simply smirks at her.

“You ask too much,” she replies and Imra rolls her eyes, before offering her a smile.

Silence fills them for a while as they look at each other, until the blonde speaks again. “So, you and Mon-El will go back to your time,” she blurts, almost instinctively.

The thought has been running wildly around her mind ever since she accidentally walked in on Supergirl making out with the pretty brunette.

“Mon-El is staying,” Imra suddenly interjects, almost as if she feels the need to correct her, and it takes her aback for a second. “He thinks he has a duty as a hero here.”

Imra rolls her eyes after saying that and Gayle briefly wonders if that is the real reason he is staying behind. She wonders if it is really because he is looking for some sort of redemption by becoming a superhero or if it is because somehow, he still thinks he can woo back Supergirl.

The second thought suddenly disgust her, but it doesn't surprise her. Whatever the reason is, she can’t stop thinking about the implications of him staying.

“That’s a development I didn’t foresee...” she pauses for a second and Imra looks at her as if waiting for her to continue. “I thought that now that Supergirl is dating the hot CEO, you would rethink the matter of your divorce.”

Imra raises a confused eyebrow, probably at the chosen adjective to describe Supergirl’s new girlfriend, but she lets it slide and instead focuses on the previous matter.

“No,” she replies immediately when she gets back on track with the conversation, shaking her head vehemently, “I told you I didn’t want to be a second choice.”

They both remain in silence for a while and evaluate what to say next. Gayle is shocked to say the least. She is confused about the situation and a ton of different feelings hit her at the same time.

“I realized that my decision wasn’t really about Mon-El’s emotional availability, but about how I no longer felt the same connection towards him as I felt before,” Imra continues, before looking at Gayle.

They look at each intensely and it is as if time stops. Gayle suddenly feels that pull she has been feeling towards her ever since she met her. That inevitable feeling inside her that draws her towards the brunette.

She looks at the brunette’s lips and her eyes linger there for a second. It's like a spark, the same spark she felt back in Fort Rozz when they stood a little too close to each other. The next thing she knows is that she can’t stop herself from doing what she does next.

Slowly, she kisses her, and it is as if all the feelings inside her finally explode. The kiss is soft, but brief and before Imra can act upon it, Gayle pulls away.

Maybe it is the way Imra is looking at her speechless or maybe it is Imra’s words about not wanting to be a second choice replaying in a loop in her head, but before she can think further of it, she is running away from her own cell.

**

She is avoiding her and isn’t ashamed to admit it. She hasn’t gone out of her holding cell in four weeks, trying to avoid bumping into her. Imra doesn’t come looking for her either in that span of time, which makes things easier for her.

Her mind seems to be trying to punish her though, because she keeps replaying the scene in her mind. She guesses she reacted poorly to something she initiated herself, but in her defense, she acted on impulse.

Now, she knows she feels something for Imra, but she also knows she shouldn’t have acted on those feelings. Because just like her, she isn’t willing to be a second choice and if Imra is still caught up on Mon-El even the slightest, she can't act on her feelings.

That and the fact that she is a prisoner. A freaking imprisoned villain. And Imra is a Super hero, stuck in the wrong timeline. Whichever way she sees it, it's something that shouldn't happen.

After four weeks of hiding away, Imra finally comes looking for her. Gayle has learned from one of the guards in charge of her cell, that Imra’s divorce process is finally over. Despite the fact that they are not legally married in the 21st century, she heard that their friend Brainiac, the blue one, helped them get legally divorced in the 31st century’s records.

Imra is a free woman now, but that doesn't seem to mind. Because Gayle is not free.

 _She is a caged bird,_ it doesn’t matter how much freedom she has inside the DEO.

Somehow, she finds herself missing Imra. Missing seeing her in her cell almost every week. It's surprising to see her in her cell that day though. After long weeks, they stand there in front of each other, neither of them knowing what to say. The room is uncomfortably silent for minutes. Imra is looking at her, but Gayle is unable to meet her eyes. Because she knows if she does, she’ll break.

Without saying anything, Imra suddenly walks towards her and cups her face gently, before joining their lips together in a mellow kiss.

It takes Gayle by surprise and her eyes widen as her hearts hammers in her chest. Air almost leaves her lungs completely as the kiss intensifies. She closes her eyes and almost loses herself in the kiss, Imra’s soft lips claiming hers.

However, the logical part of her brain stops her, so she pulls away, letting out a breath.

“We can’t,” she simply says, looking away, her cheeks flushed red and her heart beating rapidly inside her chest..

She doesn’t realize it until a few seconds later, but she is crying, tears are welling up in her eyes and she can’t control them. And when she looks up, she notices Imra’s eyes are welling up in tears as well.

The ‘ _Why not_?’ question is left unspoken, but Gayle answers it anyway, with an uncomical scoff.

“I’m a caged bird,” she simply says, with a defeated sigh. No matter how much she wants to believe that it won’t matter, in the end it does. Because Imra is free and she is not. She knows that even if they try to fight some things, some things cannot be changed and the fact that she is prisoner is one of them, “And you belong somewhere else.”

“I know,” Imra drawls, and wipes her tears away. “I just wish things were different.”

They stare at each other for a while, before Imra finally walks out. She wishes things were different as well, but that goes unsaid.

And as she watches Imra part, it feels like a goodbye

 

v.

They don’t talk after that.

Gayle spends most of her time reading and trying to forget, and she guesses Imra has been occupied helping the nerd team fix her ship.

She spends more of her free time thinking, though, and she can’t stop the flood of thoughts that overcome her. Her mind wanders towards different scenarios of how things would have turned if she was not a prisoner in the DEO.

She has read a couple of books on the multiverse theory and she has even heard Supergirl talking about her friends in another Earth to know that it is real, and it makes her wonder if maybe, on another universe, they are meant to be together.

It’s silly to think that, she knows. Imra is Saturn Girl, a superheroine in the future, while she is a metahuman born to be a villain. Their paths accidentally crossed, but that doesn’t mean they are meant to be together.

She spends days thinking about it, until the day she is been dreading, finally arrives.

She considers going out of her cell and saying goodbye but chooses not to. She wouldn’t know what to say anyway. She is not sure is her heart is ready to let her go.

But in the end, curiosity and secretly, the desire to see her one last time, wins over her. So, in the last minute, she walks out of her cell.

From afar, she can hear the loud noises of the engines, and with that she feels the huge hole in her heart swallow her completely.

She just stares from a safe distance as Imra and the blue guy hug everyone goodbye, before going inside their ship. From her spot, she can clearly notice the tears in Imra’s eyes.

This is the last time she’ll see Imra cry. At least that’s a good thing.

“Goodbye, Matilda,” she mumbles with a lopsided smile as she watches from afar as the Legion’s ship takes off.

_It’s for the best_

 

vi. (+1)

It’s been almost a year since Imra’s departure and Gayle has tried very hard to stop thinking about her and move on with her life.

She even made a deal with the DEO. They decide to let her go, under the condition that she stays on the good side, to which she obviously agree.

Still, she is required to wear the psionic blocker eveywhere, because despite the fact that they say they can trust her now, they can never be too sure. She doesn’t blame them though.

Thankfully, the blocker has been improved and no longer looks like an ugly tiara. It turns out, Supergirl’s pretty girlfriend is a genius and she helped the DEO develop a smaller and less painful version of it, one they can remotely control and that she can wear like an earpiece.

For a while, she tries to go back to her old life, but figures there is nothing left of the old Gayle Marsh.

She missed her freedom, but she hadn’t had a life for ages. Not since she became a metahuman.

Thus, she starts a new life. At first begrudgingly, but she later comes to accept it.

It isn’t easy, but she has been through harder times.

Occasionally, she goes to the DEO for check-ups or simply to assist them on some missions. She sees Mon-El sometimes and even if it enrages her, she doesn’t let the anger win over her. He has become sort of a hero, but mostly for his self-fulfillment rather than for the sake of the people of National City.

Thankfully, Supergirl pays him no mind, completely ignoring him and his occasional attempts at wooing her back despite the fact that she has girlfriend and that everyone is aware of that. And Gayle is thankful for that.

Being at the DEO thought, makes her think of Imra. Everything makes her think of her these days. She wonders if she made it to her time safely or if she is stuck on a wormhole or if something happened to her ship.

It’s been one year for her and she wonders if the same amount of time has passed for her.  That particular thought about time also makes her wonder if she managed to move on.

Did she meet someone in the future? Is she happy?

She wonders and she worries, wishing she knew more about her whereabouts. And every time she thinks of Imra, it makes her think about her freedom. Because, what’s the use of being free now if she isn’t there with her?

The reason she gave up on her was because she wasn’t free. It seems like a joke of the universe that now that she is finally free, Imra is gone.

She’d go back to being a prisoner in a heartbeat if it meant she could still see her.

As she tries to make a new life for herself, she figures that a routine is the easiest way to establish a new lifestyle.

Every Wednesday, she goes to Noonan’s and reads a good book with a cup of coffee. It’s been like that for over six months, and she finds the routine relaxing. She’s found herself at job at the local library and relishes in the fact that she can read new books whenever she pleases.

Somehow, she’s been introduced to the wonders of fiction books and is in the middle of the fifth book of Harry Potter that day.

When the waiter approaches her with a second cup a coffee, it takes her attention away from the book for an instant. “I didn’t order that,” she simply says, looking up at the waiter with a confused expression

“It’s from the person over there,” he says shrugging, before pointing to her left.

With frown, she turns around confused.

Time seems to stop for an instant.

Air leaves her lungs as soon as her eyes catch sight of _her_. Her heart skips a beat, almost in a frenzy as she tries to see if her imagination is playing her a horrible prank or if she is _really_ there.

A she watches the person walk slowly towards her with a huge grin on her face, her heart stops for a second and she finds herself unable to move, frozen with shock. Somehow, she still thinks her mind if playing her a trick.

“Hi,” she softly says when she has finally reached her side. It’s low and calm, the familiar British accent making her burst in emotion.

Gayle has to blink twice to see if she is not imagining things. The brunette smiles at her and Gayle wishes she knew what to say or do in that moment.

Imra looks almost exactly as she remembers her, only her hair is a little longer. It makes her wonder again, how much times has passed for her.

Questions get stucked in her throath though. She can’t think of anything other than the fact that Imra is there, standing next to her as time hasn’t passed.

“It’s a surprise to see you here, Matilda,” she manages to say, still surprised and the brunette chuckles. It even surprises herself, how she manages to keep her composure in that instant, when internally, she is freaking out.

“I thought you would be happy to see me,” she replies, her British accent even more prominent than before, sending her chills down her spine.

“I am,” she mumbles and that makes the brunette smile.

Before she knows it, the brunette is pulling her into a tight hug. Even after so much time, she is still not used to physical contact, so flinches in surprise for a second, before she relaxes into the hug. Gayle gets lost in the feeling, she stops fighting these feelings all together.

“Why are you here?” she asks after a while, before a flood of more questions come out of her mouth. Like if she made it home safely, or how long it has been since she left. Once they come out of her mouth, she is unable to stop them.

Imra simply chuckles and stops her rambling, raising her hands slightly.

“We’ll have a long time to answer your questions,” she answers, and the implications of her answer makes her frown in confusion and sends her heart in frenzy race once again.

“Wait, a-are you really staying this time, Imra?” she asks her. She is hesitant and unsure. She doesn’t want to get her hopes up, but the implications on her words have her heart in a vice.

Imra doesn’t miss the way she uses her real name this time, instead of the nickname Livewire made up for her. It’s a slip up actually, not intentional, but she doesn’t mind once she sees the way it makes her smile, so brightly and carefree.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she answers and when she pulls her into another hug, “Not again.”

And as Imra pulls her closer and kisses her again after so much time to seal her promise, the blonde doesn’t feel like second choice anymore. Maybe she never was. Gayle just gets lost in the kiss and lets herself believe, that maybe this was really meant to be.


End file.
